The other day I was being interviewed by Tera Bucases for her podcast Stripped (check it out on Itunes and stay tuned for my full interview coming out February 16th!).
She asked me how our family was able to do bold things so confidently. You know, quit our grad programs, start a homestead, follow a less traveled path.
My answer began somewhere along the lines of “We don’t”.
We don’t really feel confident. We are not sure that everything will be successful. We don’t know HOW to do any of the steps we have taken before we do them. Like seriously, we have no idea what we are doing most of the time. Buy a house? Nope. Build a barn wall? Nope. Start a garden? Nope. Raise chickens? Nope. Parent a child? Nope.
But somehow all of these things have happened over the past 3 years.
Now we are about to launch into a month long kickstarter campaign to get $50,000 worth of pre-booked nights in The Chittle Homestead Tiny House Farmstay in order to raise money to build this tiny house! (Get a sneak peak of our farmstays, tiny home design, and draft of our campaign here…video coming soon!).
We are pouring a lot of time and money into this path of creating a tiny home space on our homestead and we have no idea if it will be funded successfully. And it’s an all or nothing deal! If we don’t raise the full amount we need, all the money is returned to the backers and we will have to start from scratch with ideas for how to accomplish our vision of making The Chittle Homestead truly a space of community, collaboration, sustainability, learning, and a think tank for creative life design.
Um, yeah, I am terrified.
The confidence comes and goes. What if we only raise $50 instead of $50,000? Oh my. The what ifs, the fears, the realities of our bank account as we pay out for this seasons seed packets and extra fencing for the expanded chicken flock, pigs, and goats, not to mention the greenhouse for the aquaponics system…..yep, the realities are still there just like they are for every other human on this planet who has a bold vision.
Here’s the truth about any person you see actually doing those big scary bold things.
They too have fear and doubt and moments of thinking “Oh my god, this is totally crazy. Why would I ever think I could do this”. From an outside perspective it may seem that they have all their shit together. That they know how to do each step. That they must have some deep confidence that other less-bold people are lacking or some assurance of success the rest of us can’t see.
You know those people. The ones who live way outside the box. Who always seem to attract big opportunity to them.
Maybe they are traveling the world and able to support themselves somehow.
Maybe they quit their corporate job to start their own business even when they had a new family or moved their family to Costa Rica to run a surfing school.
Maybe they somehow got ocean front land and built their dream house.
Maybe they rallied the community together to start a community garden, or a nonprofit.
Maybe they have time to mediate and do yoga, or they committed to eating local or veganism, and it actually stuck.
Maybe they sold their car and get everywhere on their bike, or paired down all their belongings to live in a tiny home.
Maybe they just climbed Mt Rainier or ran a marathon or lost 100 lbs or learned to play guitar at age 45.
Maybe they just got asked to speak on Oprah.
In big ways and small ways, these people we are talking about are living bold lives. They take a stand for the world they want to create through how they love their lives. They follow-through. They fully engage. They make things happen. Even the things that seem terrifying.
HOW? How do they do it? How do they just decide to do something and leap into it? How do they make their dreams happen? Don’t they get scared? Don’t they have responsibilities that prevent them from doing what they want? How do they find the money, the time, the support, the resources? How do they figure out how to do all those pieces they don’t know how to do?
Here’s the secret to boldness.
The one thing that these bold people, I call them Revolutionaries, do differently when making a decision in their life is that they take THE HOW question out of the decision.
Bold people decide WHAT it is that they want to do and get deep clarity on the WHY that makes it non-negotiable for them to take action. However, the HOW part comes AFTER they have made the decision and AFTER they have already taken the action that makes it impossible to turn back.
It’s not that they make quick, random, or irresponsible decisions without thinking.
Bold people take time on THE WHAT and THE WHY while they make their decision. This may come in the form of listening deeply to their heart or thinking about their values. Designing their ideal life, day, or way they want to feel. Writing their own personal LIFE MANIFESTO. If their decision involves their family, I know many discussions are had about what life choices will honor all family members values, passions, and talents.
It’s also not that these people are flying by the seat of their pants, never having a plan and hoping luck will just make it all happen or believing that just dreaming about their vision will somehow magically manifest it.
THE HOW IS IMPORTANT. A plan is important. Strategy and steps and timelines are important for really bold ideas to actually become real tangible things in the world. In fact, the HOW and the strategy is a big part of what I coach people around to take a bold idea into a tangible reality because sometimes people with bold visions need support in how to actually make it a reality.
But the truth is that the HOW is always figuroutable once you are on the path to fulfilling your WHY. I promise, THE HOW actually doesn’t get in the way much at all once you have made the decision and are taking action. However, the HOW is detrimental to taking action if you start thinking about it BEFORE the decision is made.
In my experience, the difference between taking bold action or not is how much you get wrapped up in THE HOW before you commit 100% to a decision of how you want to live your life.
So what does committing 100% look like?
It means taking some action that makes it non-negotiable to live by your values; quitting a job, buying the plane ticket, selling the car, putting the down-payment on the land in the middle of nowhere. Or perhaps it is announcing to the world your intention to build a tiny home, or only eat local and setting up a way to share your story along the way that holds you accountable.
It’s putting some skin in the game.
Bold people do this BEFORE they know exactly HOW to achieve their vision. They take an action that ensures that they will be forced to figure out HOW to make their WHAT and WHY happen.
But what about failure? That happens right so shouldn’t I wait to jump off until I know for sure that it will all work out? Yes, failure happens all the time. What bold people know though is that even complete failure is figuraoutable and is still moving you forward towards what you want more than staying in the safe zone where you are.
Action brings clarity. Your path may wander based on your shifting values and vision or be jolted off-course by failure or rejection or impossibility of a specific version of your vision. However, taking that bold action will move you forward no matter what the specific outcome.
BOLD PEOPLE KNOW THAT IT WILL ALL WORK OUT EVEN IF IT DOESN’T COME IN THE PACKAGE THEY ORIGINALLY ENVISIONED.
To bring it back to a current example in my own life…..
So now that we have decided on the WHAT : a tiny house farmstay at The Chittle Homestead.
And the WHY: to create a space and experiences of community, collaboration, sustainability, learning, and creative life design….and create a source of income to support the sustainability of this space.
Our kickstarter is going live on March 1st….for only 30 days.
And now we are deep in the midst of our HOW…the strategy, the plan, the timelines, the reaching out for help in order to make this vision a reality. Lots of doubt, fear, and set backs are coming up like they will for any person on any journey. But it is all figuroutable. And we are held accountable to figuring it out because we keep taking actions that continue to move our momentum forward even though we are terrified.
We are THOSE BOLD PEOPLE because we keep the HOW separate from the decision-making process. And we trust ourselves enough to know that once a decision is made to make living by our values non-negotiable, we will sit down and figure out the tangible steps of the HOW to make it happen.
So what is your WHAT and WHY? What is the action you will take that will make it non-negotiable to figure out the HOW? And if you need a little help with THE HOW, please know we got your back….reach out for a free strategy session to map out all the steps to make your BOLD LIFE PROJECT happen.
Oh and by the way, do you have ideas to help us with our HOW?! If you would like to be a true “barnraiser” by helping us spread the word about our upcoming Kickstarter campaign and Tiny House Pre-booking opportunity. We could use your help… fun Homestead perks are included 🙂
Shoot us an email to get involved or share an idea!
From our family to yours,